In "Decolonization of the Mind" written by Ngugi, he discusses the powers of colonization. Africans were given two names: their African name which was used in the safety of their home and their British colonial name which was used everywhere else. However, in the eyes of an African this name was not who they were but simply what they were called. Whereas in America, our name is our identity.
This relates to "Wedding at the Cross" because Miriamu took pride in her African name whereas her husband did not. He was completely brainwashed within colonization. He completely abandoned his African name and instead of just being called his British colonial name, he became it. Miriamu had decided not to marry him after all since he was not the man she fell in love with. Dodge W. Livingstone had conformed to "the dark side" and she had had it with him and moved on.
I can really relate to this story because I have been in a somewhat similar situation. My high school boyfriend had so many things that he wanted to change about me it was ridiculous. However, being the naive stupid young girl I was I did whatever I could to change to please him no matter how unhappy it made me. The problem was I was so scared of losing him that I was willing to lose myself to keep him. The details a pretty pointless but long story short after two and a half years I finally was so fed up I ended it no matter what the consequences. I was so blinded by love and false happiness that I didn't even realize I was losing sight of who I was because I wasn't good enough for him. Luckily I wised up and ended the agonizing colonization he was putting me through to make me his perfect girl instead of loving me for me.
You make an insightful statement about people being willing to lose themselves rather than lose the person they are with. That is a high cost choice, as you point out. You reference your experience to the challenges Miriamu faced well, and your final point about resisting that colonization is a good point.
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